Step 1 : Introduction to the question "If they were actual members of the U.S. Army, which character would hold the highest rank?"
In the United States Army, Colonel is the most senior field grade military officer rank, immediately above the rank of Lieutenant Colonel and immediately below the rank of Brigadier General. Colonels typically command a brigade-sized unit consisting of 3,000 to 5,000 soldiers. By law, a colonel must have 22 years of service and a minimum of three years of service as a lieutenant colonel before being promoted. They receive their commission upon appointment by the Secretary of the Army. Colonel Harland Sanders of KFC fame, was an honorary Colonel, awarded by the state of Kentucky – not of the military rank.